Time Will Present The Truth

Here is one I’ve had saved in my drafts. I never published it because I got busy with my book. However, I felt this was a good piece.

It’s been roughly 10 years since I walked away from the abusive and toxic relationship that I was in. You may think the abuse stops the minute you escape that chaos. Unfortunately for me (and for many others) it did not. You see, people who are narcissistic and feed off of manipulating and hurting others can’t just stop. Ohhh no, no, no. The control over you is no longer in their possession. So, they start to think outside the box. They spread lies about you, hoping you lose friends and family. They put on a show and victimize themselves. If you share children together, they hurt the children so that it hurts you. They start manipulating the kids, causing them confusion and hurt. They play the system just enough so that they can get away with whatever it is they’re doing. They will do everything the can to hurt you financially, emotionally, and mentally since they can’t hurt you physically anymore. Unfortunately the system acts blind to it in most cases too.

One of the biggest burdens I carried on my shoulders for so long was that I was able to leave and get away from the abuse, but I was forced to send my kids there and I couldn’t protect them. It’s a tough weight to carry, which is why I believe many people go back to abusive relationships. That’s why I was so back and forth for the 7 years I was with my abuser. Not because I wanted to be with the abuser, but because it was the only way that I could protect our kids. Not to mention, I did not think I could leave. You may think that’s a bogus excuse, but the truth is…it’s not. I really wish there were more reliable resources out there than there really is. Which, I’ll get into all that later on.

These types of situations though, become a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” scenario. If you stay or go back to an abusive situation especially when there’s kids involved, you’re looked at as being more inadequate, than brave. You’re called a horrible parent, instead of a hero. You’re the one who’s blamed and you’re called “messed up” because you went back. Yet, nobody bats an eye or raises a brow at the abuser? Abusers get away with their actions 24/7. While the one who’s trying to escape, and who is trying figure it all out, is held accountable for the abusers actions.

If you leave the abuser, you’re breaking up a family. You’re choosing happiness for your yourself and “not for your kids” because you’re sending them back to the abusers. (Even though you have to.) Still, you’re selfish, you’re unfit, you’re an attention seeker, you’re the reason for everything. Either way you go, you can’t win. That is because the abuser is so good at lying, and they are so convincing others they’re the victum. Plus, they have an excuse for every single thing. They are the most successful cons because they have mastered manipulation.

One of the most alarming issues I have come to wonder is “how do they get away with it?” How do so many people get away with these things? It just doesn’t make sense. Why are so many bad people, being protected? Why are all of their actions being excused and being deemed as ok?

Why?

We need more resources that hold people accountable. If we can’t hold them accountable, then there needs to be better programs that surround situations like this. To help people. Especially For the sake of children.

We need to do better. If not for us. Then for the kids. ❤