What Kids Want. And Need.

I came across an interesting post on my Facebook, and I just thought I’d share. It’s 10 things kids want from their parents.

“10 Things Kids want from their parents.
1. SHOWING IS BETTER THAN TELLING…I learn by watching you.
2. LOVE ME….Give hugs and kisses. You cant spoil me with those.
3. KIND and FIRM discipline…My brain is still developing so I’m slowly learning. I do want to learn, if you kindly and patiently teach me.
4.BE MY SAFE HAVEN…Always be here for me no matter what.
5.TALK WITH ME…Dont just talk to me.
6.HEAR ME….sometimes I just want to be heard without judgment or lecture.
7. ACCEPT WHO I AM…dont constantly compare me to other kids.
8. LET ME PLAY OUTSIDE ALOT. LET ME HAVE FRIENDS AND A LIFE OUTSIDE OF HOME…Sometimes you say you need a break, and sometimes I need one too.
9. TRUST ME…let me make my own decisions on non-safety or health related things. I couldnt learn to walk without falling so I cant learn to make good decisions without sometimes making bad ones.
10. ENCOURAGE ME…your praise means so much to me.”

Dang! My heart loves that so so so much!
You know, parenting is a never ending job. There’s no end when it comes to learning. The minute you think you have it figured out, you’re right back at trying to figure it out again. It’s challenges. It’s lessons. It’s learning. It’s growth. When we have children, we will spend the rest of our lives learning the next chnapter of their lives, and our own. By the time we may have it figured out, our kids will be grown. And possibly our grandchildren too. The only way we will ever stop learning, is after we leave this earth. If more people stopped trying to “be the perfect parent” and just learned to be the parent YOUR child needs you to be, I think we’d all he happier.
Just because someone raises their child differently than you, or does things differently, doesn’t mean they are better, or have more figured out than you do. No. We’re all learning. We may have today figured out, but tomorrow we could feel so lost or like we failed. The only time we fail, is when we stop trying. Or, When we silence our own kids because others think we should be a certain way when raising our own children. Sometimes what works for other people, wont work for us. And that’s ok. Each of our children are different, and they will have different paths.. they will need different discipline, different needs, and structure than their siblings. Why? Because they are DIFFERENT. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME CHILD. If you think that just because you raised one kid one way, it’ll be the same outcome for the next…you are sadly mistaken. They will all make different choices. Which will have different outcomes. You may think you can protect them from everything, and maybe with a lot of things you can. But, the minute they turn 18 the world is theirs to travel, and you will not have a say. If you love your child, them turning 18 means nothing though…. because in your heart, they’ll always be your baby and you are always going to worry. Especially when they are no longer under your roof to look after. You will no longer be able to look in their rooms to see that they’re ok and that they’re safe. Scary to even think about. 😦
It is our job as they are growing to instil right from wrong. To love them. Guide them. Teach them. Grow with them, and Trust them. Eventually you need to let them spread their wings just a little and give them a tiny bit of freedom as they age..until they’re all grown up and leave our nests. That part is so hard…as we sit back and we hope, and pray that we have instilled and prepared them for life out there. But They are going to make mistakes because they are human… your child needs to know they can come to you, or turn to you for guidance especially when or if they mess up though. And without hate or judgement.
Sometimes we hold our children up to higher standads and have higher expectations for them, than we do with another adult!!! And that is so unfair and so unrealistic. Especially when we make mistakes as the parent (and nobody can tell me they haven’t made any) and probably made tons when we were younger too. But, if we can say sorry to our children when we do wrong, we teach our kids how to take accountability for our actions (even if it feels uncomfortable). It also shows that we recognized our mistake. It shows that we are still learning too and that we still mess up from time to time. I think It helps build trust because it shows them theres no age limit when mistakes are made, and everybody makes them. They wont be as scared (if at all), to come to you, knowing we’re all imperfect. You know?

We can only do the best that WE know how to do and what feels right for each of our children. Your child is seeing and learning from you, and whoever you allow around them. We cannot prepare them for every single thing. Just because we can’t do that, doesn’t make us bad parents though. The world changes daily. So do laws and everything else. Thats life. We just have to take each day, and learn as we go. Sometimes they will have to figure things out on their own. Just like we’ve had to. And that’s when you have to ask if you’ve done your absolute best at loving them and raising them right.

If your answer is no, I hope you know that it is never “too” late to try and lead them in the right direction.

Kids want to hear they’re doing a good job. That you’re proud of them. That even if you’re disappointed or angry when they do wrong, you still love them unconditionally. They want to know they can come to you about anything. They want you to believe in them, and they want to hear that you actually do.

From the time they’re born our children look to us to teach them everything we know. They are eager to learn, and want to love. Nobody outgrows wanting to learn “something” new. We may outgrow or lose interest in wanting to learn specific things…but we all want to learn new things. We may outgrow loving certain colors, or we may outgrow loving certain interests. But we never outgrow love. ❤️